Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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