Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
