We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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