is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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