Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
