"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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