hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
