I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
