oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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