Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
