You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
