There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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