I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You pole danced in your parka.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
