On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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