U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
