things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
