He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
