I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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