xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
