I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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