u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
