either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
