The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
