honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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