Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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