Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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