After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
