Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
