How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
