The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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