if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
