so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
