careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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