remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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