Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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