you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
