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so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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