When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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