please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
