So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
