make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
