Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
