I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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