You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
