So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
