I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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