good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
