so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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