it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
