The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
