Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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