Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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