Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
